It is up to all of us to keep our campus environment healthy, safe, and inclusive.
Therefore, we want you to consider being part of the change by being an upstander, someone who says something or does something when they see bullying or uncivil behavior, instead of a bystander who does nothing to stop it.
Depending on the circumstances, the options below may not work for everyone or every situation, however, this is meant to give you a framework of options you can consider using.
Whether incivility happens in person or over email, you can use these tools to help you.
- Document the incivility
At a minimum, it is important to document the situation. You can do this by keeping documentation in your own records, speaking with an employee within human resources, or speaking to your manager.
Although we know that incidents are sometimes isolated, having strong documentation of a pattern of behavior is important to have should the incivility continue or worsen and you need to take action to report it to a supervisor or Human Resources.
Documentation of a situation should include who, where, what, how.
For example:
- Who made the statement and/or actions and to whom?
- Where did the situation(s) occur?
- What was said/done?
- How was the situation received?
- Confront the incivility
In some situations, it may be necessary or appropriate to confront the incivility in the moment.
For example, when uncivil behavior happens during a meeting and is not confronted, it may signal to others that the behavior was okay and appropriate and this could lead to others participating in the uncivil behavior as well.
Now, remember confronting incivility should be done with civility.
Examples of language that can be used are:
- “We don’t use that kind of language in our Kauhale.”
- “As a reminder, our conversations should be focused on the actions, and not the person.”
- “Although these conversations are tough, we need to remember to keep civility at the core of our communication.”
- Follow Up on the Incivility
Sometimes calling incivility out in the moment is not enough or it is not appropriate, and may require follow up with the individual(s) in a private one on one setting to continue the discussion about the incident.
Some things to remember about furthering the conversation:
Action-Focused Rather than Person-Focused
Letting them know the specific action that was taken or words that were used and how it was interpreted by you will be important, so that they understand their impact.
It is so important to focus less on the person, and more on the action and how the action made you or others feel.
Intent v. Impact
Check for understanding. Someone’s intent may not have been to harm another, but their impact was incivility. Share with them how the statement made you feel.
Questions like:
- What did you mean when you said…?
- This is how it made me feel when this was said...
- Report the incivility
We know that everyone’s comfort level with confrontation is different.
We also know that there are often power differentials between parties that may cause someone to pause when it comes to confronting the incivility.
Lastly, although we encourage all people to learn to confront one another with civility and work through their differences, some people are:
- Comfortable with confrontation and are effective.
- Comfortable in their confrontation, yet not effective.
- Not comfortable at all in confrontation and avoid it.
Therefore, if you are looking for help in resources and options, we encourage you to report what you experienced to our staff who help mediate conflict on campus. They will work with you on your rights, options, and resources.
You can contact:
Dr. Sara Vogel
Title IX, Equity and Compliance Officer
808-934-2765
svogel@hawaii.edu
Shana Kojiro
Human Resources Manager
(808) 934-2527
snakamat@hawaii.edu
Daniel Loo
Human Resources Specialist
(808) 934-2525
dloo@hawaii.edu